It's almost 10:00 PM. I've only been up for about 7 hours. Not a very good day today physically-wise, but it could have been worse, which I fear tomorrow will be. I didn't sleep well last night because I was so achy. Not so much my legs as my arms. Just couldn't get comfortable. I got up to get ready for school and was sick at my stomach. Couldn't go. Don't want my kids to be miserable with me there either. It's OK though. At least I knew it was coming, right? I knew to expect it. I was told I'd have flu-like symptoms. Am going to try really hard tomorrow, but don't know if I'll be able to. I've been told by specific people they'll donate sick days, which I'm going to need. Grrrr. I was really hoping I'd make it every day this week. I would have much rather been there than here. It'll all be over soon though. I feel like I'm becoming destracted. I have to keep my focus on God and not on me and how badly I feel. My arms hurt typing this. Waaaah. Poor baby. I know. Whatever. I'll get over it because I really want to do this. I have found some relief in Tylenol. Don't know if I'm supposed to take it. Surely it won't hurt. I can't seem to find any ingredients that I'm not supposed to have. Gotta have something.
Maybe I feel so bad because it's day 13. Just kidding. I'm not supersticious. Just the other day I opened my umbrella in class so a student could see it. Black cats? Bring them on! Ladders? Sure, I'll walk under it for ya. Broke a mirror? Well, clean it up! Just be careful. Do black cats get bad luck when they walk under ladders, or are they immune because they're black cats? Hmmm...
I just went to watch Little People, Big World. They were in Huntsville. Their youngest, Jacob, was in space camp for a week. They also went to Ivy Green, Helen Keller's birthplace in Tuscumbia. Not far up the road from here. That was pretty cool! I was lying on the couch and thinking during commercials. I thought, "one week from tomorrow is when I'll be admitted" and I got excited. Not sure why. Maybe because the anticipation of "what's it gonna be like?" will be gone and this will be that much further behind me and I'll be that much further to feeling better.
God is so evident. He IS by my side. I AM in His hands. He is my strength. I have to remember that and continue to keep my focus. He's taking me through this journey for a reason. Maybe it's so I can reach out? I could get on here and not mention Him. I have to. I couldn't make it through without knowing He is with me and that He has a plan. I don't know if I'll ever know exactly why I'm going through what I'm going through, but I do know that He does. That is comforting! Psalm 28:7 says "The LORD is my strength and my shield..." 1 Peter 5:10 says "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." Wow! ...about the verse itself and that I remembered the chapter and verse. I'm not so good with remembering numbers, or much else for that matter. I had to look it up, but that was it. That was a verse someone shared with me today. WOW again, I say!!!
Another something someone shared with me today was Cardboard Testimonies. I had never heard of such. Go to www.youtube.com and look it up. You will not be disappointed. SO cool! Do it! Do it! God showed me many things through watching some of those videos. Again, how this is not so bad and it could be so much worse for me. Not just that it could be worse for me but that it IS SO MUCH WORSE for many people. My prayer is that we as Christians will find our way into those struggling hearts and give them the opportunity to have a cardboard testimony. That is why we're here, afterall. To live our lives for God. To share Him with others. To reach out with unconditional love. Christians are not perfect by any means. Thank God we serve a forgiving, loving God!!! Pardon the expression, but if I feel like crap because you were supposed to read that, well then... GOOD! :) Maybe though, I'M the one that needs to read it!!!
You know, it's been a struggle finding food I can eat. At least I have a choice and at least I have food.
It's not easy at times living alone while feeling badly. I have a computer and can afford the luxuries of monthly internet charges to be able to get on here and vent and talk to people when I'm alone. Some people don't know what a computer is.
I hurt and feel achy and run down. I am fortunate to be able to get up in the mornings. I am not physically disabled.
I am blessed. I chose that as my blog title because it's so true. That was in January. I can't tell you the many blessings I've received since I titled my blog "Carrie's Blessed Life". Gah. God has certainly used his people lately to reach out to me. A couple of instances... I came home Friday and my yard had been mowed. I was telling my Dad, "It could have been _______ or ______ or ______ or..." He, kinda teary-eyed, said, "Isn't it great you have that many people you could assume it was?" Of course I agreed. I figured out who it was and of course they won't let me pay a dime. Also, (most of) my family came here for Easter. I jokinly said, "I don't know what they're going to eat!" It was taken care of in no time. Again, without me being able to pay a penny. What blessings!!! Also, food was especially prepared for me. *SIGH* God is amazing. I have to quit now. I'm getting teary-eyed myself thinking about God blessing me through is incredible people.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Though I've not been up long, I feel like I could crash right now and go straight to sleep. I have a sub "on call". She is awesome. Musically inclined. The kids love her. Most importantly, she loves the kids. You go through a sub list, find all those things and get back with me. I bet you'll have a hard time finding anyone like her! Another blessing!!!
Thursday is my appointment in Huntsville to see if my TSH levels are high enough to proceed with therapy. Please pray they are. I really hope I feel like the drive. If not... ??? ...
Day 13 down. 10, 11, 12, 13 to go? We shall see. Know what that means though? I'm half way finished with the diet part! I just realized that. WOOHOO! Oddly enough, food commercials haven't gotten to me that badly. Yay! Sure, I'd love some Olive Garden or Ruby Tuesday or Chili's or Taco Bell or (you get the point) right about now, but I'm not dying. Who ever thought I could make it so long without cheese? I even have some in my fridge. I haven't touched it.
Carrie + no cheese + making it fine= Jesus loves me!!!
G'night. God bless you! Much love from me!
WAIT. One more thing. I also realized today that I've been SO worried about how I'll treat people and that I'll be SO irritable. I've been focusing more on what to eat/not to eat that I haven't even thought about the how I'm treating people part, but I haven't snapped at ANYONE yet! I've prayed for that! I haven't even been in a bad mood (yet). YAY!
Carrie + feeling badly - (snappy + irritable) = Jesus loves YOU! :) Hehehe!
God is good ALL the time! He adores YOU!