It's a go!

OK. I failed to blog yesterday. It's been crazy. I waited yesterday morning with my stomach in knotts on that phone call. FINALLY at about 11:30 (maybe?) the nurse called to let me know my numbers are high enough to proceed with therapy! YESAH! I cried for a few seconds when I hung up the phone. It was not a sad cry. It has been a long time since I've had a sad cry. Dad, in January, was probably my last sad cry. It was a "Thank you, Jesus! I am SO relieved" cry. Then I got to calling/texting/emailing. Yep. Forgot to blog. That's OK.

My mind is going 90 to nothing. What does one pack for such a trip? What's the weather going to be like the day I am released from that prison cell of mine? ;) I obviously won't need clothes for my time in the hospital, so packing will be light for the next week. Hmmm...

What if I forget that stack of magazines I've piled up and up and up for months? What if I forget my Lemonheads? What if I forget... well, there's not much else TO forget. Ha! What if I forget Ace? Nah. He won't let me.

So, I'm actually letting my sister and niece come and pick me up tomorrow to take me home. I had to go get my oil changed today and felt strange. I can't explain it. Not really light-headed, but not really "all there", I guess. In la-la land. (That was NOT an opportunity for ANY of you to make fun of me!) I don't know if it would be safe for me to drive such a distance. I don't know if it would be safe for OTHERS for me to drive such a distance. I'll back down and play it smart.

I was talking to my brother earlier this week and he said that they were going to come and get me. I said, "We'll see. I may not need them to." He said, "Well, if you need them to, then LET THEM." I said, "I will". Then he said, "JAMIE!" That's Dad. He's gotta be where I get my "I don't need your help because it would make me feel bad for you to go one single step out of your way to do something for me" attitude. I am not a stubborn person otherwise. I have learned the last few months that it is difficult for me to give in and let someone do something for me. I don't know why. I mean, I really enjoy doing things for other people. I just think, "Why would you go out of your way to even THINK about doing something for me? For ME?!" Anyway... I said to him "YEOUCH!" It's fun being independent.

Rachel and Maw-Maw came by tonight. Rachel's Maw-Maw is the closest thing I have to a Maw-Maw. My mom's mom passed away when I was 13. My dad's when I was 16. Rachel's Maw-Maw is precious. I call her Maw-Maw, too. They were going to go to Gulf Shores or Gatlinburg or somewhere for the DAY today. Gulf Shores for the day isn't Gulf Shores to me, but whatever. :) I have done the Gatlinburg thing in one day. LONG day. Anyway, we had a nice visit. I wasn't worth much, but it was nice to have visitors. That doesn't happen much. They went to Florence because Maw-Maw had never been and Rachel's been with me several times, so she (KINDA) knew her way around. (Love you, Rachel!) ...she doesn't have the best sense of direction. She'll be the first to tell you that. She's amazed at how well I learn a new place.

So, we're talking about the subject that anybody and everybody, including myself, that has been around me for the past few weeks is absolutely sick of hearing about. Food. She was asking when I could eat "real food" again. I said after my hospital visit. I said, "What's today? April 18? It's been EIGHTEEN days since I've had cheese!" She gasped for air. HA! She said, "So, what have you had today that was decent?" I said, ".... well... um... I don't know! I can't remember what I've had!" My stomach was ookey today, so I hadn't much interest in food period. Then I remembered that I had 2 boiled eggs minus the yolk this morning. I cooked some hashbrowns with onions and couldn't eat it. I don't know if it's nerves or what. My stomach has been ookey for most of this diet, so it's probably a combination today. I ate a couple of bites of the hashbrowns and felt sick. I chunked the rest. I said, "Then for lunch... um... I had... what DID I have? ... I forgot to eat lunch." I hadn't even thought about it and had not had supper at that time, either. It was around 8:00. Strange. I don't not think about meals. HA! Lunch didn't even cross my mind though.

But you know what absolutely stinks? I have eaten more fruits and vegetables in the past 2 and 1/2 weeks that I probably have my entire life. I've skipped meals, had small meals, had no meals and the scale has barely budged. UGH! For the LOVE! I have retained a LOT of water. My fingers are so puffy I can't wear my rings, so maybe that's a lot of it. My face looks bloated (even more than it usually looks bloated). He he he! I'm hoping and praying that after all this mess, getting rid of my thyroid completely will help with the weight issue. I have been told it will. My next purchase? A treadmill. Yep. Don't know where I'm going to put it, but exercise has to become a must if I want to live to see 40. Maybe that's being dramatic. I want to live to see a healthy 40. 30 even! 29 and 1/2! I've tried and tried to lose weight, have lost some over the past year and 1/2, but maybe all this is an answer to that prayer as well. We'll see.

OK. THAT was personal. Who cares. It's not like this big secret that I need to lose weight! Hello?! IF I were an elephant, I'd be underweight. HAHAHA!!! You know you wanna laugh. Go ahead. I like to make people happy.

So, I go in at 11:00 Monday morning to begin shooting sparks, glowing in the dark, however it is YOU choose to make fun of me at my expense. :) It's all good. I don't know how long I'll be there. I talked to someone in Radiology today and she was super nice. I'll meet her Monday. She'll be part of my team. She answered questions that I didn't even THINK to ask. I had called to ask about taking an old cell phone with me. Anything I take in with me can't come out. She told me I MAY be able to take MY cell phone with me, that it may not hurt a thing, that we'd ask the Radiation Safety Officer about it. She even told me that I've probably been told to take multiple showers a day, but I don't have to worry about that. She said about 90% of the Radioactive Iodine will be absorbed into the thyroid/cancer tissue that I have left and zap it. That leaves only about 10% that will come out through bodily fluids, most of what will come out after I drink a lot (to put it nicely), that they set those guidelines before they had their new Radiation Safety Officer. They did that as a precaution for the nurses and clean-up crew. They will still wrap the room in plastic and more absorbant things will become contaminated, like books and magazines and such. Those things cannot leave. Interesting. So, I'm wondering, can't they save all this stuff that people leave behind for the next patient that will become radioactive? It's like "Here. You're going to be Radioactive. Have some Radioactive stuff". There are different levels though, so maybe that's why. I will still have to suck on sour candy every 15 to 20 minutes and drink, drink, drink, so that it can come out of my system. I also found out that I DO have Thyroid cells left or I wouldn't be going through this process. A test sometime or another read Thyroid cells. Not sure about the cancer part. I aint skeert. If you remember from one of my previous blogs, it's not necessarily that a surgeon doesn't do a good job. It's mostly procedure to go through this therapy because the Thyroid is attached to other things in there. Did you know you can feel your Thyroid? Yep. Mash around in your neck and it's there. Unless, of course, you're me. :D I ain't got no.

They keep mentioning throwing up while I'm there. Great. Maybe I won't. I have to notify them IMMEDIATELY if I do. I will be THAT potent. :)

I've been wondering how they'll know when I'm ready to do. I found out today that the Radiation Safety Officer will come in every day and measure the room and myself with a Geiger counter. Cool! They want my level at a 5 before I leave. It'll start somewhere around 40. If I'm down to 20 on day 2, that's great. She said there was lady that came in and was a seven on day 2! She did say, too, that since I'm young, it may not take too long. We'll see. I'm just glad it's Spring Break and I won't have to take any more sick days. I WILL be feeling fine shortly after this therapy. The doc said it'll take a few weeks for me to start feeling back to my normal self (again, not an opportunity for you!), but I plan on feeling FINE the day I leave the hospital. :)

About the phone... I'm thinking about not taking it. I'm going to pray about not taking it. Sure, it'll be an outlet, but this could be an amazing time for me to spend with God. How often do we REALLY get to shut out the outside world? Like tonight, there was a House marathon on. I SO planned on watching from 4:00 to 10:00. Maybe with a few interruptions. Know how many I watched? Zero. Zilch. Nada. The TV didn't even come on tonight. Anyway, am I that strong of a Christian? I kinda doubt it, but wouldn't that be awesome? I'm going to pray about that decision between now and then. If I get claustrophobic, I can turn to God, right? If I get stir-crazy (there IS a difference!!!), I can turn to God, right? If I get lonely, I can turn to God, right? Right. I think He put that in my heart 'cuz it sure ain't coming from me, folks!!! I'm already feeling a panic-attack coming on!!! "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13. I can. I Can! I CAN!!!

I have a fairly new CD. I decided I'd play it tonight as I blogged. I've started it a few times, but never finished it. So, I decided randomly to start on #8. Had no idea what it is. 8 is my favorite #, by the way. It's very well-"rounded". HA! There is no reason why. I just like it. It's nice and even, even in its shape.

So, I've been thinking lately (I'll get back to that last paragraph in a minute) that I really need to pray about keeping my focus on God after this is over. I've prayed and prayed, yet still not enough. I've talked and talked to God, but still not enough. I've dug into His Word, but still not enough. I don't want to get through this smoothly, then forget about God because I've been healed. I don't want to forget about God because there's not something crazy about to happen in my life that I'm anticipating. I want to keep praying and becoming closer and closer with Him and leaning on him. It's up to me. My pastor, Alan Beasley, who has been absolutely unmeasureably amazing to me through all of this said it all a few months ago in a sermon and, thankfully, those words continue to run around in my head. Talking about becoming closer to God, he said, "It's not gonna just happen!" It's up to me. I have to continue to talk and pray and listen and dig. God's there. He's always there. Always. Even when we royally mess up. He is a jealous God, but He is also a forgiving God. He loves us more than we could ever imagine.

So, the song, track #8 is "Forever" by Chris Tomlin. Here are the lyrics:

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good,
He is above all things
His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise

With a mighty hand and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever and ever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever
And ever and ever ....

It's 11:29 and I have done NOTHING to prepare to go home tomorrow. I was going to have that all done this morning. I had nice nap today and other things have just come up. Had to go to Wal-Mart and get my oil changed. I'll have you know I did NOT shop otherwise. I actually thought about it, got to the videos, then turned around and went back to sit in the waiting area until my car was finished.

I will try to get back on here tomorrow and post the lyrics to those songs I was talking about Thursday (I think it was). The verses are too perfect to not, but my brain is turning to mush (which is seriously a side-effect of being off of my medication) and my eyes are getting heavy. If you know me, you know 11:30 is early on a Saturday night, ESPECIALLY with a nap today, but I'm about to retire for the night. Church calls in the morning. It has been my goal all week to make it. I will. Regardless.

Goodnight, bloggy blog. THIS? Is one of my LAST blogs in the RAI-therapy chapter. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!